There are some days that just don’t go according to plan. No matter what you try things just seem to conspire to make it go south. For some reason I seem to be having a lot of those recently. Here, I’ll give you an example.
Most people arise at some unnatural hour and prepare to drive some time-warp distance in order to earn what we like to call “a living.” Time-warp because the distance in space is usually inversely related to the distance in time. After a long and arduous journey they arrive at the “place of making a living.” Here they spend approximately 8 hours moving pieces of information from one place to another and hoping (well possibly hoping) that it all ends up in a form that someone finds useful. Then the process reverses itself and they return home to enjoy the fruits of their labor. Weekends might be a bit better, although, there’s mowing and cleaning and shopping and such. It all seems to be, well, a treadmill.
I’m not particularly fond of treadmills but I am rather fond of eating, staying warm (or cool) and having sufficient outer clothing to keep me out of the gossip column. Consequently, I too must venture out into the world to hunt and gather the funds necessary to meet my needs. However, I tend to do so in the most creative manner I can manage. That sometimes gets me into — situations.
I was running a bit late on this particular morning. Probably up too late the night before chatting away with like-minded folks in various Internet forums. However, one must sally forth and take on the day at whatever pace you first set.
There were a few stops along the way and the first was the office supply store. Someone is always running out of something and it wouldn’t be convenient to wait for a delivery, so I offered to stop and pick up the order. I pulled up in front as they were opening the doors. First greeting of the morning? “You can’t stop there!”
“And, why would that be? I have an order waiting.”
“This is no place for that, that thing you have there. You’ll have to come back or send someone else.”
I see, well then, I suppose I can try the next stop. This was the florist’s shop. A fellow worker was leaving on maternity leave and we had planned a small party. As I pulled up in front of the door the lady came running out waving her arms, “No, no! You can’t stop there!”
“But I have an order and it’s paid for!”
“What’s the name, I’ll bring it.”
“Okay then, it is for Alice.” She brought the order to me. I stowed it away and off I went again. Last stop was the coffee shop. Surely this small bit could be handled without causing major to do. After all, our office was a regular, we took turns picking up the order. When I arrived the owner stepped out of his shop door with our regular tray of drinks and promptly dropped them on the sidewalk.
“Susan, you have to get a grip on things.”
“What things, Alex?”
“Things, Susan, you need to have a firmer grasp on reality. Don’t you know that, that beast does not exist?”
Does not exist? What could he possibly mean? It was then I nearly fell off my Unicorn.
Hopefully not too contrived, a bit for my friend Stacey, an avid believer in Unicorns and all things fae. But then, aren’t a lot of us that way?