Caregiving Backstage – Rose Petals

Rose petals
Falling
Resting
Blowing
Wilting

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Courtesy Photobucket

“Thus, the first light: the world in his eyes would never be the same and would change with every day. If I wanted to keep him, I would have to move through those worlds with him and not try to keep him in mine.”  (Who I Am Yesterday by the author)

 

I keep forgetting this.  Even nearly three years later. I keep trying to “set things straight” knowing all the while that “straight” no longer exists.  So now I think of rose petals and try to learn that the only way to save myself is to lose myself.

In this life we lead, I am no longer certain of who I am each day, or each moment. From his perspective I can be the bitch that couldn’t find the right wine, or the angel that helps him in the morning.  Sometimes he tears up, afraid that I might leave him. Sometimes I’m the intruder certain to get into trouble for using “her” computer.  Sometimes I have no clue what part it is I am supposed to play.

So, now I think of rose petals…
Falling softly on the ground
Resting
Giving beauty even as they die
In their death I keep the core of me alive

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7 Comments

Filed under Authored Works, Caregiving Backstage

7 responses to “Caregiving Backstage – Rose Petals

  1. Wow… That’s an interesting perspective and a poignant metaphor.

  2. Victoria, this is beautiful on multiple levels. The metaphor and the perspective are both touching and fascinating, as Cindy indicated. The language itself is as incisive as I have come to expect of you. And the picture you chose skillfully echoes and illustrates the passage’s point. I may have to re-read this one.

  3. So lovely, Victoria. Life’s journey for each of us has a different fragrance. Blessings to you, sister.

  4. This post is full of a courageous understanding, beautifully expressed

  5. As hard as it is do the shopping and chores form my grandmother, I am blessed that she knows who I am.
    I would still love her if she didn’t, and this post by Victoria expresses why.

  6. Reblogged this on Vampire Syndrome Blog and commented:
    We don’t love people because they know who we are.
    We love them because we know who they are.

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